Unfed Artist - Comics

Unfed Artist

Ian Castruita's Webcomic about anything that he thought was funny. Your mileage may vary.

Unfed Artist

Ian Castruita's Webcomic about anything that he thought was funny. Your mileage may vary.

Panel One: Ian is at a restaurant booth, holding a drink in one hand and dipping a tortilla chip into some guacamole with his other. There’s a bowl of chips on the table next to the dip. Ian - I’m not really a fan of Cinco de Mayo. Panel Two: Same scene, but Ian is leaning in and smiling. Ian - I think I’d be more excited about Cuatro de Ketchup to be honest. Panel Three: Ian is dressed in a suit and tie and pretty blonde woman is presenting him with a bronze bust of Mark Twain. Ian waves to a crowd that is lighting him up with camera flashes. Presenter - It was pretty close, but that previous panel… …locked you in to win this Mark Twain Humor prize!

Posted on November 4, 2023

Sunday Format: Panel One Ian is moving to Texas. Narrator: How people view Texas Apartment Manager - Well welcome to your new home! How many guns do you need to register? Ian - Oh? I don’t have any. Panel Two The Clerk hands Ian a gun. Ian looks scared. Clerk - It's dangerous to go alone! Take this. Panel Three Ian is walking by a Dairy Hut. There’s a poster for a Churro Dipped Cone in the store window. Ian - What in tarnation? Panel Four Ian - Yaaah hoo! Ian is begins shooting two six shooters into the sky. Panel Five A cop responds, angrily holding out his hand while preparing to draw his own gun. Cop - Y’all need to lower your weapon and explain yourself! Ian - I just found out there’s Churro Dipped Cones at Dairy Hut! Panel Six The cop begins firing two sidearms into the air. Cop - What?! Panel Seven An old lady letting loose a tommy gun into the air. Her walker is in front of her Lady - Churro Cones Y’all! Panel Eight Narrator: How Texas actually is… Ian - If I buy an ice cream cone I probably can’t afford rent… …y’all.

Posted on October 6, 2023

Panel 1: Ian is addressing a city council, speaking from a podium. Ian - It may be a point of pride to "Keep Austin Weird", but I ask this city council to show it's gumption by even keeping it “Austin”! Panel 2: Narration Box: A Year Later… A man is getting into a yellow taxi cab Man - I’m in a hurry! head to downtown Austin. Driver - That’s going to be a problem, since today it’s called something else. Panel 3: The Man sighs in exasperation and looks down. Man - Really? Fine. Can you take me to…Funkytown?

Posted on September 1, 2023

Panel One Ian is getting an eye exam. His chin rests on a stand while an optometrist exams his eyes. Optometrist - Your vision is awful, but we can fix you. We have the technology. Panel Two Narration Box - Surgery Day Ian is in a hospital gown in a hospital room, sitting up on the bed. The doctor is showing him a piece of paper. Doctor - Ready to see better? Just sign this waiver that lets me off the hook if I make your vision worse! I’ll still get paid of course! Panel Three Ian is is running away down the hospital corridor. A red EKG heart line is seen in the background a la “The Six Million Dollar Man”. The doctor is leaning out the open door, holding up a pair of glasses. Doctor - Come on! You’ll only owe thousands of dollars, even with your insurance! Now how about a pair of $1500 glasses?

Posted on August 4, 2023

Panel 1 Ian looks at a photo of his great grandmother. The photo is an aged, black and white image of a heavy-set old woman, holding up a healthy boy sucking his fingers. Ian - My word - she looks like she fought off bandits, while cooking dinner for grandmom, and shoeing the horses all at the same time! Panel 2 Ian - Those were simpler times… Panel 3 Ian - I wonder what my descendants will say when they see my picture? Panel 4 Narration Box: THE FUTURE A young woman with a cybernetic arm, looking at a holographic photo of Ian, which is being projected holographically from her hand, The background shows windows looking out to a futuristic cityscape. Emaline - My word… Panel 5 Same scene, but she has turned to talk to someone. Emeline - He looks like he wasted most of his time on YouTube and Reddit… …and never really accomplished anything except finishing a few video games? Panel 6 Emeline - I’m guessing he’s also cried during Pixar films? Panel 7 The scene shifts to show an older Ian in a gray hoodie, using a cane. The windows behind him show more of the futuristic cityscape. Emaline is seen from behind looking at the picture of Ian Ian (very old) - You wanted to know why we’re clones. I warned you knowing isn’t worth the cost of therapy. Panel 8 The scene returns to Ian in present day; moments after panel 3. Ian - I hope they’re impressed!

Posted on July 7, 2023

Panel One: Ian is wearing a full on Aladdin costume, driving a brown Jeep with Sean, who is in the passenger seat. Sean is bald, wearing a blue shirt and has a goatee with a white beard. Ian (singing with one hand held up out of the driver side window): You can show me around! I just moved here and I’m clueless. Tell me brother, where is a Cheba Hut from where we are? Panel Two: Same scene. Sean (points while singing in response): It’s over there! About 15 miles by car-pet ride. Panel 3:: Sean stops singing and looks sternly at Ian. A capuchin monkey has appeared and is bearing it’s teeth as it looks out the front of the Jeep. Sean: Now can you please put on normal clothing? This is Texas. We’re going to get shot.

Posted on May 26, 2023

Panel One: Ian is hanging out with unseen companion at a grocery store. They’re in the frozen food section. Ian - This is the ice cream I’m talking about! I don’t know how they do it but it’s delicious and easy to scoop right out of the freezer. Panel Two: Sean - Do they add some special additive? What are the ingredients? Ian - Man, I don’t know, I just shove it into my mouth, it’s gotten me this far. Panel Three: Narration Box: …eventually… Cut to Ian’s tombstone - Here Lies Ian - “I just shove it into my mouth, it’s gotten me this far.”

Posted on April 30, 2023

Posted on March 24, 2023

Panel One: Ian looks down over his blackout prep stuff. There is a backpack, a tow strap, a water bottle, a fuel bottle and a camping stove. Ian: Well that was really expensive, but I think I'm prepared for the next blackout. Panel Two: The power goes out, and the whole scene is suddenly cast in a dark blue hue. Panel Three: Ian has lit a match, and the light from the flame is casting an orange hue over the scene. The shadows are harsh. Ian: ...and I guess I am also prepared for being unable to afford the power bill after buying all this nonsense.

Posted on March 3, 2023

Posted on February 17, 2023

Unfed Artist - 234 - Reason to Live

Posted on January 28, 2023

Unfed Artist - 233 - The Gift Keeps Giving

Posted on December 9, 2022

Unfed Artist - 232 - Lifeguards Assemble!

Posted on November 25, 2022

Unfed Artist - 231 - Terminology

Posted on November 11, 2022

Posted on October 28, 2022

Unfed Artist - 229 - Swimming On Up

Posted on October 21, 2022

Posted on October 7, 2022

Posted on September 30, 2022

Unfed Artist - The Legend of Dunderhead

Posted on August 26, 2022

Unfed Artist - 225 - A Name to Reckon With

Posted on August 12, 2022

Unfed Artist - 224 - Dancing with Danger

Posted on July 29, 2022

Unfed Artist - Mis Pantalones Verdes

Posted on July 15, 2022

Unfed Artist - Tasteful

Posted on July 8, 2022

Posted on July 1, 2022

Posted on June 24, 2022

Unfed Artist - Beauty on the Inside

Posted on June 17, 2022

Posted on June 10, 2022

Posted on June 3, 2022

Unfed Artist - Rock's Bottom

Posted on May 27, 2022

Unfed Artist - Feline Fancy Car Review

Posted on May 19, 2022