Panel One: Ian is at a restaurant booth, holding a drink in one hand and dipping a tortilla chip into some guacamole with his other. There’s a bowl of chips on the table next to the dip. Ian - I’m not really a fan of Cinco de Mayo. Panel Two: Same scene, but Ian is leaning in and smiling. Ian - I think I’d be more excited about Cuatro de Ketchup to be honest. Panel Three: Ian is dressed in a suit and tie and pretty blonde woman is presenting him with a bronze bust of Mark Twain. Ian waves to a crowd that is lighting him up with camera flashes. Presenter - It was pretty close, but that previous panel… …locked you in to win this Mark Twain Humor prize!
Posted on November 4, 2023
Sunday Format: Panel One Ian is moving to Texas. Narrator: How people view Texas Apartment Manager - Well welcome to your new home! How many guns do you need to register? Ian - Oh? I don’t have any. Panel Two The Clerk hands Ian a gun. Ian looks scared. Clerk - It's dangerous to go alone! Take this. Panel Three Ian is walking by a Dairy Hut. There’s a poster for a Churro Dipped Cone in the store window. Ian - What in tarnation? Panel Four Ian - Yaaah hoo! Ian is begins shooting two six shooters into the sky. Panel Five A cop responds, angrily holding out his hand while preparing to draw his own gun. Cop - Y’all need to lower your weapon and explain yourself! Ian - I just found out there’s Churro Dipped Cones at Dairy Hut! Panel Six The cop begins firing two sidearms into the air. Cop - What?! Panel Seven An old lady letting loose a tommy gun into the air. Her walker is in front of her Lady - Churro Cones Y’all! Panel Eight Narrator: How Texas actually is… Ian - If I buy an ice cream cone I probably can’t afford rent… …y’all.
Posted on October 6, 2023
Panel 1: Ian is addressing a city council, speaking from a podium. Ian - It may be a point of pride to "Keep Austin Weird", but I ask this city council to show it's gumption by even keeping it “Austin”! Panel 2: Narration Box: A Year Later… A man is getting into a yellow taxi cab Man - I’m in a hurry! head to downtown Austin. Driver - That’s going to be a problem, since today it’s called something else. Panel 3: The Man sighs in exasperation and looks down. Man - Really? Fine. Can you take me to…Funkytown?
Posted on September 1, 2023
Panel One Ian is getting an eye exam. His chin rests on a stand while an optometrist exams his eyes. Optometrist - Your vision is awful, but we can fix you. We have the technology. Panel Two Narration Box - Surgery Day Ian is in a hospital gown in a hospital room, sitting up on the bed. The doctor is showing him a piece of paper. Doctor - Ready to see better? Just sign this waiver that lets me off the hook if I make your vision worse! I’ll still get paid of course! Panel Three Ian is is running away down the hospital corridor. A red EKG heart line is seen in the background a la “The Six Million Dollar Man”. The doctor is leaning out the open door, holding up a pair of glasses. Doctor - Come on! You’ll only owe thousands of dollars, even with your insurance! Now how about a pair of $1500 glasses?
Posted on August 4, 2023
Panel 1 Ian looks at a photo of his great grandmother. The photo is an aged, black and white image of a heavy-set old woman, holding up a healthy boy sucking his fingers. Ian - My word - she looks like she fought off bandits, while cooking dinner for grandmom, and shoeing the horses all at the same time! Panel 2 Ian - Those were simpler times… Panel 3 Ian - I wonder what my descendants will say when they see my picture? Panel 4 Narration Box: THE FUTURE A young woman with a cybernetic arm, looking at a holographic photo of Ian, which is being projected holographically from her hand, The background shows windows looking out to a futuristic cityscape. Emaline - My word… Panel 5 Same scene, but she has turned to talk to someone. Emeline - He looks like he wasted most of his time on YouTube and Reddit… …and never really accomplished anything except finishing a few video games? Panel 6 Emeline - I’m guessing he’s also cried during Pixar films? Panel 7 The scene shifts to show an older Ian in a gray hoodie, using a cane. The windows behind him show more of the futuristic cityscape. Emaline is seen from behind looking at the picture of Ian Ian (very old) - You wanted to know why we’re clones. I warned you knowing isn’t worth the cost of therapy. Panel 8 The scene returns to Ian in present day; moments after panel 3. Ian - I hope they’re impressed!
Posted on July 7, 2023
Panel One: Ian is wearing a full on Aladdin costume, driving a brown Jeep with Sean, who is in the passenger seat. Sean is bald, wearing a blue shirt and has a goatee with a white beard. Ian (singing with one hand held up out of the driver side window): You can show me around! I just moved here and I’m clueless. Tell me brother, where is a Cheba Hut from where we are? Panel Two: Same scene. Sean (points while singing in response): It’s over there! About 15 miles by car-pet ride. Panel 3:: Sean stops singing and looks sternly at Ian. A capuchin monkey has appeared and is bearing it’s teeth as it looks out the front of the Jeep. Sean: Now can you please put on normal clothing? This is Texas. We’re going to get shot.
Posted on May 26, 2023
Panel One: Ian is hanging out with unseen companion at a grocery store. They’re in the frozen food section. Ian - This is the ice cream I’m talking about! I don’t know how they do it but it’s delicious and easy to scoop right out of the freezer. Panel Two: Sean - Do they add some special additive? What are the ingredients? Ian - Man, I don’t know, I just shove it into my mouth, it’s gotten me this far. Panel Three: Narration Box: …eventually… Cut to Ian’s tombstone - Here Lies Ian - “I just shove it into my mouth, it’s gotten me this far.”
Posted on April 30, 2023
Unfed Artist_237_Main Ingredient is Danger Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2023 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on March 24, 2023
Panel One: Ian looks down over his blackout prep stuff. There is a backpack, a tow strap, a water bottle, a fuel bottle and a camping stove. Ian: Well that was really expensive, but I think I'm prepared for the next blackout. Panel Two: The power goes out, and the whole scene is suddenly cast in a dark blue hue. Panel Three: Ian has lit a match, and the light from the flame is casting an orange hue over the scene. The shadows are harsh. Ian: ...and I guess I am also prepared for being unable to afford the power bill after buying all this nonsense.
Posted on March 3, 2023
Unfed Artist - 235 - Serial Influencer Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2023 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on February 17, 2023
Unfed Artist - 234 - Reason to Live
Posted on January 28, 2023
Unfed Artist - 233 - The Gift Keeps Giving
Posted on December 9, 2022
Unfed Artist - 232 - Lifeguards Assemble!
Posted on November 25, 2022
Unfed Artist - 231 - Terminology
Posted on November 11, 2022
230 -Tortilla Encounter Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2022 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on October 28, 2022
Unfed Artist - 229 - Swimming On Up
Posted on October 21, 2022
Unfed Artist - 228 - Ian In Florida Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2022 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on October 7, 2022
Unfed Artist® 227 - Rhymes with Holy Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2022 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on September 30, 2022
Unfed Artist - The Legend of Dunderhead
Posted on August 26, 2022
Unfed Artist - 225 - A Name to Reckon With
Posted on August 12, 2022
Unfed Artist - 224 - Dancing with Danger
Posted on July 29, 2022
Unfed Artist - Mis Pantalones Verdes
Posted on July 15, 2022
Unfed Artist - Tasteful
Posted on July 8, 2022
Unfed Artist - Old Fashioned Charm Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2022 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on July 1, 2022
Unfed Artist - Reverse Psychology Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2022 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on June 24, 2022
Unfed Artist - Beauty on the Inside
Posted on June 17, 2022
Unfed Artist - Out of Network Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2022 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on June 10, 2022
Unfed Artist - New Sheriff In Town Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2022 Unfed Artist, LLC
Posted on June 3, 2022
Unfed Artist - Rock's Bottom
Posted on May 27, 2022
Unfed Artist - Feline Fancy Car Review
Posted on May 19, 2022