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Unfed Artist

Ian Castruita's Webcomic about anything that he thought was funny. Your mileage may vary.

Unfed Artist

Ian Castruita's Webcomic about anything that he thought was funny. Your mileage may vary.

Character: Ian

  • Panel 1: Ian is addressing a city council, speaking from a podium. Ian - It may be a point of pride to "Keep Austin Weird", but I ask this city council to show it's gumption by even keeping it “Austin”! Panel 2: Narration Box: A Year Later… A man is getting into a yellow taxi cab Man - I’m in a hurry! head to downtown Austin. Driver - That’s going to be a problem, since today it’s called something else. Panel 3: The Man sighs in exasperation and looks down. Man - Really? Fine. Can you take me to…Funkytown?

    Gumption

    Sep 01, 2023

  • Panel One Ian is getting an eye exam. His chin rests on a stand while an optometrist exams his eyes. Optometrist - Your vision is awful, but we can fix you. We have the technology. Panel Two Narration Box - Surgery Day Ian is in a hospital gown in a hospital room, sitting up on the bed. The doctor is showing him a piece of paper. Doctor - Ready to see better? Just sign this waiver that lets me off the hook if I make your vision worse! I’ll still get paid of course! Panel Three Ian is is running away down the hospital corridor. A red EKG heart line is seen in the background a la “The Six Million Dollar Man”. The doctor is leaning out the open door, holding up a pair of glasses. Doctor - Come on! You’ll only owe thousands of dollars, even with your insurance! Now how about a pair of $1500 glasses?

    In Network, Out of Money

    Aug 04, 2023

  • Panel 1 Ian looks at a photo of his great grandmother. The photo is an aged, black and white image of a heavy-set old woman, holding up a healthy boy sucking his fingers. Ian - My word - she looks like she fought off bandits, while cooking dinner for grandmom, and shoeing the horses all at the same time! Panel 2 Ian - Those were simpler times… Panel 3 Ian - I wonder what my descendants will say when they see my picture? Panel 4 Narration Box: THE FUTURE A young woman with a cybernetic arm, looking at a holographic photo of Ian, which is being projected holographically from her hand, The background shows windows looking out to a futuristic cityscape. Emaline - My word… Panel 5 Same scene, but she has turned to talk to someone. Emeline - He looks like he wasted most of his time on YouTube and Reddit… …and never really accomplished anything except finishing a few video games? Panel 6 Emeline - I’m guessing he’s also cried during Pixar films? Panel 7 The scene shifts to show an older Ian in a gray hoodie, using a cane. The windows behind him show more of the futuristic cityscape. Emaline is seen from behind looking at the picture of Ian Ian (very old) - You wanted to know why we’re clones. I warned you knowing isn’t worth the cost of therapy. Panel 8 The scene returns to Ian in present day; moments after panel 3. Ian - I hope they’re impressed!

    Ancestors

    Jul 07, 2023

  • Panel One: Ian is wearing a full on Aladdin costume, driving a brown Jeep with Sean, who is in the passenger seat. Sean is bald, wearing a blue shirt and has a goatee with a white beard. Ian (singing with one hand held up out of the driver side window): You can show me around! I just moved here and I’m clueless. Tell me brother, where is a Cheba Hut from where we are? Panel Two: Same scene. Sean (points while singing in response): It’s over there! About 15 miles by car-pet ride. Panel 3:: Sean stops singing and looks sternly at Ian. A capuchin monkey has appeared and is bearing it’s teeth as it looks out the front of the Jeep. Sean: Now can you please put on normal clothing? This is Texas. We’re going to get shot.

    Austinian Nights

    May 26, 2023

  • Panel One: Ian is hanging out with unseen companion at a grocery store. They’re in the frozen food section. Ian - This is the ice cream I’m talking about! I don’t know how they do it but it’s delicious and easy to scoop right out of the freezer. Panel Two: Sean - Do they add some special additive? What are the ingredients? Ian - Man, I don’t know, I just shove it into my mouth, it’s gotten me this far. Panel Three: Narration Box: …eventually… Cut to Ian’s tombstone - Here Lies Ian - “I just shove it into my mouth, it’s gotten me this far.”

    Words to Live By

    Apr 30, 2023

  • Unfed Artist_237_Main Ingredient is Danger Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2023 Unfed Artist, LLC

    The Main Ingredient is Danger

    Mar 24, 2023

  • Panel One: Ian looks down over his blackout prep stuff. There is a backpack, a tow strap, a water bottle, a fuel bottle and a camping stove. Ian: Well that was really expensive, but I think I'm prepared for the next blackout. Panel Two: The power goes out, and the whole scene is suddenly cast in a dark blue hue. Panel Three: Ian has lit a match, and the light from the flame is casting an orange hue over the scene. The shadows are harsh. Ian: ...and I guess I am also prepared for being unable to afford the power bill after buying all this nonsense.

    Dressed Up for Nothing

    Mar 03, 2023

  • Unfed Artist - 235 - Serial Influencer Unfed Artist and Unfed Artist Logo ® Registered Copyrights of Unfed Artist, LLC. All images copyright © 2023 Unfed Artist, LLC

    Serial Influencer

    Feb 17, 2023

  • Unfed Artist - 234 - Reason to Live

    Reason to Live

    Jan 28, 2023

  • Unfed Artist - 233 - The Gift Keeps Giving

    The Gift Keeps Giving

    Dec 09, 2022

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Calendar

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Comic Series

  • Unfed Artist
  • Tell It With Comics
  • Employees Only
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