Panel 1 Panel 2 Panel 3 Panel 4 Panel 5 Panel 6 Panel 7 Panel 8

Sunday Comic Format

Panel One: Ian at cafe talking to unseen companion
Ian: People wonder why I look so young for being in my 40’s, and I’m pretty sure the reason is because my ancestors never lived this long before.

Panel Two: Same scene. Ian looks concerned.
Ian: So basically this isn’t a beauty secret as much as it is a countdown timer for a bomb that hasn’t one off yet.

Panel Three: Inside Ian’s body. Characters look like cells.
Lead cell: 45? What the hell is this? This operation was past retirement more than a decade ago.

Panel Four: Same scene.
Lead cell: Alright everyone! Listen up, you’ve done a great job but we need to make some cuts.
Joints - I’m cutting your budget. And digestion…

Panel Five: Same scene. Lead cell is talking to a digestion cell that kind of looks like a tube.
Lead cell: …I don’t see any need for you to accept dairy anymore, do you?

Panel Six: Another body cell hurries in from the left.
Worker: Sir! We’ve detected cancer forming in Prostate Plaza!
We need to activate the body's defenses!

Panel Seven: The leader cell ponders the situation and says nothing.

Panel Eight: Same scene.
Lead cell: I think I want to see where this goes actually.

Early Retirement

My age is definitely catching up with me, and unfortunately my body is tired of being chased. I think I expected the clichés that you hear about, like waking up sore from sleeping. But no one told me that LITERALLY EVERYTHING IS HARDER. Walking = yup, my hips are tight from sitting too much. Sleeping = oh yeah; I wear a sleeping mask, have a noise machine, and still can't fall asleep for what seems like hours. Eating = yes to both the chewing and the digestion; I won't paint the picture. You get it though? I'm struggling to basically be alive.

Our president just decided to not run for reelection because he's too old; but my stars how the hell did we allow the retirement age to rise to 60? I was done after I turned 30.

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