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Panel One:

Ian is drinking egg nog in front of christmas tree and lit fire place.
Ian - Everyone talks about Santa magically delivering toys to every child in one night, but why aren’t we all talking about him out performing every competitive eater on the planet?

Panel Two:

Narrator Box: The North Pole

Santa is inspecting his pants and jacket hanging in front of him with one of his reindeer. He is very skinny, and the clothes are for someone much fatter.

Santa - It's 50% wool 50% spandex, but given how I fill up like a balloon with milk and cookies every year… the elves are still working on it.

No one likes my body paint idea so far.